|road reflector flowers|
|unfinished beside pallet table|
so there is frustration. there is knowing i wanna make more of something that is even bigger and more loft cluttery than my vases and flowers. i know i need to jump in and just do it and stop thinking so much. i've already re arranged my living space once again to make room for all this wood and the impending pieces i make. i feel suffocated. i feel tired. i feel i'm wasting precious time. i feel scared and excited. i feel like i can't take it another day sometimes. feelings and thoughts. thoughts and feelings. wanting things to change and wanting nothing to change. clinging to the little bit of safety and 'security' i have and yet knowing there is none with this [artists] life that i have chosen [or that has chosen me].
wanting something that which i do not even know.
the moments. the surreal vignettes of happenings here in huntsville...the day to day interactions and observations. the feeling of connectedness with you artist peeps spread all across the globe. the feeling of wanting to be out there on the road visiting you guys. learning. talking. sharing. and then the feeling of hell i can barely get thru a day sometimes and all i want to do is sleep in a quiet peaceful place and take a break from the crazy world i live in.
having said that. the reality is. here i am. made some more modular flowers (above first photo and woolly mammoths below). thrilled even if it is still painstakingly slow for me to figure out which size tap and die i need for the found bolts i use. thrilled even if i keep spending more money on tools/hardware that just lead me to needing to buy MORE. still interested in my reliquary boxes of which i've made more of. thrilled with such simple things as a new found tube which makes for a perfect remote control box:
|reclaimed scrap metal 'boxes'|
...and there you are. caught up if'n you were wonderin.