i feel like i dont share much here anymore other than new art. guess i'm trying to stay focused and more positive because we all know i can get dark and mucky. since its gonna be 106 degrees + humidity today i thought i would lock myself up in the loft and see what i can come up with for my life. i keep thinking surely i will find something/some one, some art community that embraces me and i them. just finding a place that appeals to me is a challenge. i remember when tod and i were wanting to leave vermont and we had no idea where to go. there were possibilities but we were waiting for that YES. that strong pull. i know you dont always need that, and sometimes staying put or leaping into the unknown are best. when you are in alignment and in tune you get to have a direction or at least a niblets leading the way.
i keep thinking about northern california. which is odd because i dont know anyone there. sometimes i wonder about ohio and brooklyn only because of the online artists or etsy people i meet from those places that seem open and alive. me? i want warmth and sunshine and mountains to hike and mountains of scrap. i like the mentality of the west coast over the east. i like the space and the sky and the sunsets.
in a perfect world, where i dont think about the vapidness of art, i fantasize that someone out there says come here! we need you to help us design things. (the judge in me still thinks that art is self indulgent and there is nothing useful about it even though the artist me feels it is the only way to exist, express and connect with people and i can't imagine not being able to make my art) it isnt out of the realm of possibility. twice in the last 4 years i have had people ask me to come live on their land and be a part of their art compound sort of life. they weren't quite a good fit for me, and then as you know tod and i came here to huntsville to be a part of the phoenix commotion and that turned out to not be what i was looking for either.
i feel like i have made a lot of wonderful changes as an artist and human here. but i am still feeling malnourished on some level. i know no one can fill a void and we must make our own lives work....but it isnt satisfying to be here day in and day out alone and not work with or share my art with people. i had art in the local art center and it just sat there for 4 or 5 months. removing it and putting it online lent me sales immediately. i need to find a community where i can sell and live and work and interact more fully in the art vein. what i do love about this place is all the people i know on a casual basis. i've never had that anywhere. it keeps me going. for sure every day i go out there i have run in's with people i know and i like that we can chat for a few minutes and exchange energy.
i wonder how many of you feel you belong where you are. is it the type of artist that typically is content being alone? i think of painters as the ones who are happy to be in their room painting. akin to a cat. more aloof and alone. then there are the metal artists...who seems to be alone to but they need/want/desire help by dint of the materials. it behooves you to have equipment and friends and helpers. okay i'm babbling. i'm putting the smoke signal out there.....and looking for anothers'. of course i could just stand outside and melt myself to a piece of metal and be done with it.