i decided to go to the other scrap yard that is out along the highway. its bigger, not as big as the ones i've seen in vermont but big enough to kind of intimidate me. tod always went with me to the scrap yards and sometimes i get anxious and feel like i'm just in people's way. i pushed myself to go. all in the name of flowers.....
i have to say, after i recovered from being told unequivocally NO that i could not buy ONE piece of rebar, that i could go look for jack and find out if i could look around, i went looking for jack. why no rebar? seems they are doing a big construction project and feel they will need all the rebar they can get. wow...what am i gonna do without rebar? everything feels scarce lately...still can't find anymore aluminum for the bottoms of my vases/candle holders. i have some rolls of it but i will run out at the rate i'm going. anyhow. jack. skinny ponytailed jack with his bespeckled young son in the little weigh station hut. jack with the tattoos all over his long arms. jack with a little jump to his step. a little prickly in the beginning, but maybe thats just me. i asked could i drive my car down there to the heep so i didnt have to walk back with stuff and he said he wouldnt. tires are expensive. he isn't responsible for flat tires. pointed where to park and zipped away.
i found a black pipe. which is great cuz i'm out of them for my 'slice' containers. but no more...and there was lots more to look at but nothing much i could take. i ended up being a rooster and picking little pieces from the dirt. all on my way back to the weigh station hut i kept finding minutiae that was embedded in the dirt. best stuff is always half buried. anyhow. when jack saw what i got he seemed extremely happy. suddenly he just opened up and he said the best people are the artists. never heard that EVER from a scrap yard dude. normally i feel like we are like flies on their shit and they'd rather us just buzz off. jack was beside himself about little things. i showed him what i got in my bag and he zipped of, just up and ran away and came back with a bulbous thing he said i could have. my heart melted. then he went on and on about the best times to come here and made me feel mighty welcome to do just that. it made my day. i was really dreading going there, just feeling anxious and my normal panicky self and not sure i could deal with it all. i got a little rush from having that interaction and can't wait to go back.
i'm learning to find gratitude here. i am always feeling like there is just enough that is tolerable. i.e. i suddenly found out i have new upstairs/side neighbors and only because they were moving in at 11:30 PM last night. of course its four college boys. of course they drive big ass loud trucks. i suddenly felt like get me out of here. i can't take another year of noise and whoopin it up. i really can't. let alone the fact that now, FOUR vehicles will be here and they invariably park in one of my two reserved spots. i dont really use that second spot except for when i need to cut metal for art. so now its a fight for when can i find a parking spot to work in. i hate that. i realize i am insane...i mean its insane to work on hot concrete and lugging all my crap outside. i've almost destroyed my wood porch, i really think any day now it will collapse from all the up and down and working on it with tools. i need a studio space ...i want it i need it and i gots to have it. its humid and rainy and hot and this isn't working so well for me. sigh.
thank god for jack and his happy little self. i will hold on to that for today. and the fact i found black pipe. oh. new flower above, shown with last week's smaller new flower. i love these.....will get the big one up on etsy soon. get it while you can, never know how many more i can make. let the rebar gods shine upon me.