self taught artist

i look at my sidebar and think wow its been awhile since i've added good reading blogs (keep in mind i like augusten burroughs type writing...
anyone have any new blogs they are in love with?  art /reading...otherwise?

per the post below.
1) someone sent me this in a private email:

I googled "what is the point of art?" got many LONG and philosophical and
psychological writings, boring.

Until:

Paul Klee (artist) said: "I make art so I won't cry."

Enough for me. Enough said. Says it all. A valid endeavor, to not cry. The
world needs lots of people who aren't crying. We should all be not crying, by
whatever means it takes. Religion, art - any means. 

that was good.

2)  i notice that i get responses (privately and in post below and many other times) that assure me that i'm doing something valid and worthy because i am taking 'junk' and making something out of it.  i appreciate that.  but this morning it really hit me that we shouldn't HAVE to validate ourselves.  that is part of the problem with our society right now that makes (me/ us) sick i think.  that we feel so damn guilty for doing anything if we aren't saving the planet.  i've been brain…

i would love it if i got your true feelings about how you deal with making stuff and selling stuff. i ask because i realize one of my own biggest blocks as a human being, is feeling worthy.  many of you already know i was a massage therapist for about 20 years and i 'thought' i was being useful.  it wasn't until the last few years that i was in so much pain from giving others 'pleasure and healing' that i decided i had to quit.  i also started feeling like it wasn't really doing much for people.  every week i would see the same people and while they loved the massage and claimed it got them thru the next week or month or whatever, many of them still had pain and problems. stress.  life....kept filling them up.  so i started feeling my catholic guilt crap of i'm just taking their money.  yea i'm fucked up that way and i'm not even a catholic anymore

so.  then i find art.  and you all know that i have my claim that art is keeping me sane.  bottom line…

this was cool, that interview i did last month came out in this little local zine (of which i couldnt find anywhere but someone told me they saw it and gave me their copy.  i doubt many read it since i couldn't find the zine to save my life...but i LOVED the write up.  good job matt.  the dysmorphic in me had to cut out my ugly face.

last week i had a cleaning job to do.  i go in...take my wary look around and notice fog cans in the center of every spot of the floors.  mmmm  that doesnt look good. its a small apartment but feels crowded by all the fogger cans.  i creep out, careful to mind i dont take anything alive with me on my body.

call the office.  fleas.  supposedly all dead from the 5 fog cans all set off 24 hours ago.  i'm gonna play it safe and give this a few more days.  in fact, i waited 3 days.  in the meanwhile back to my life. finding some amounts of miffed humor that all my cleaning jobs have 'bombed' lately (meaning canceled or me not able to do due to no hot water or FLEAS).  art sales arent what they were but my whole art mojo has been askew anyways.  what have i been doing?

well...i completely reorganized and cleaned the loft. it's my own little space now that tod is gone and i was determined to make it somewhat livable and cozy if one can be cozy amidst hundreds of pounds of woo…

not even 1 page of jobs.  none of which i am qualified for or could physically or mentally do.

from whickee whickeeee pedia:

As of 2005 the largest employer in Huntsville is the Texas Department of Criminal Justice, with 6,744 employees. The second largest is Sam Houston State University, with 2,458 employees. The third largest employer is the Huntsville Independent School District, with 974 employees. The fourth largest employer, Huntsville Memorial Hospital, has 540 employees. 517 employees work for the fifth largest employer, Wal-Mart.[9]
As of 2007 Huntsville's average income is lower than the State of Texas's average income.

i dont wanna be a prison guard. can't be a teacher at the university....
i'll keep looking.  we all know that i panic in wal-marts so i aint working there.

isn't so freeing when you labored and obviously still was attached to something....
i really messed myself up giving that piece away.
what a messed up day i had.  one of the worst in a long long time.
back to how to sell/get rid of art in a hurry in order to survive, have space (and desire to then make more art of a different ilk ie my small/functional stuff that now sells) and be ready for the inevitable move to a small place. 

the only good thing about giving that piece away was how much this woman loves it and would never buy something like that.  she lives out of town, as far as i know doesnt have people over...and i doubt anyone will ever see it and think wow i want to buy something too!!!!  this was truly a gift that has no ulterior motives or energy behind it.  i think i have learned that its better to throw away the art that you love and no one buys than give it away and feel anger and pain and fuck with your head.  pieces that you slave over and love.  pieces that were y…

one down one to go.  i gave this, my biggest most expensive piece away today.  i was happy to do so.  i knew i could never sell it online let alone ship it.  its huge.  i have another one same size that is on the gift list next.  i gave it to someone who has horses and works at the office (i deal with her regarding cleaning the apartments), she has been too good to me and put up with my finickiness when it comes to cleaning gross places.  were it not for her i'm sure i wouldn't have that job.  she loves it, really and truly so it is a burden relieved, she will love it and take care of it.

i just listed a few wall pieces on etsy for the lowball price, sale items are being listed here.  i feel good about it all which is the most important thing.  i feel lost right now, i've spent this whole week redoing my loft, now that tod is gone i felt it important to get it changed around and deep cleaned, even if i have to move in a month or two.  moving and heaving my art materials ar…

okay i had like 30 some comments on my facebook fan page in response to am i humiliating myself putting wall art pieces that sell in galleries for $500-2000 on ebay for $99.  the answer is YES.
hahahahaha
AHAHAHAHAH
what a moron i am.
desperation.
makes one do crazy things.

so. the thoughts are do what you have to do.
i have to get rid of my wall art. you'd never know tod left, the loft is even fuller with all my storage stuff and art.  regardless of if i get to keep living here for a few more months, regardless of if i win the lottery and stay forever, the art has to go.  i still do not understand how people make shitloads of art and keep it.  i'm thinking last june i had 25 sales on etsy.  today i have 196 sales.  can you imagine if i made all that and it never sold?  can you imagine me running and screaming and hurling myself down a cliff?

i have truly been having an artistential crisis.  i want to make more art...when i'm actually making art i'm fine.  but when i&#…

so on facebook i wrote a blip asking if am i humiliating myself by having some wall art that i NEED TO GET RID OF NOW, on ebay...seems ya'll hate ebay. and many of you think i'm doing my art and art in general a disservice. 

i have felt the same. i've felt annoyed at times when people on etsy/ebay sell good art for pennies as it makes it hard (who knows but thats what we all say) for 'real art' to sell at 'real prices'.  given the choice between giving it away or throwing it away...i'd try to sell it for whatever i can.  all i know is i'm doing the best i can to make money. i'm cleaning when opportunities arise and you all know how much i dislike being a house cleaner but i know it affords me time to work on art.  the urgency to 'make it' is now, now that i am solo and have more financial crap to deal with.

a very gracious friend/art buyer made the point of saying they didn't want to buy my stuff on ebay.  that they didn't want t…

Now offering 'Back View Woman'.  I painted this on canvas my winter spent in Minnesota. My first winter 'on the road' so to speak.  I spent about 8 months there, that is where I began earnestly seeking my way with art making.  I dabbled in drawing and painting, then moved on to painting on ceramics (most of which I had to throw out when I moved on as it wouldn't all fit in my already packed car).  A few mugs and coasters are out there in the world...some of you even have one or two eh?

Anyhow.  Since this was just on canvas i could roll it up and take with.  It would be about 5 years later that I had it professionally scanned/printed as a giclee and then professionally laminated onto the 1/4 MDF board.  tada.  art. 

what else.... oh i'm quite pleased that a puzzle piece sold (not on ebay but on etsy!)  yesterday.  thank you you you know who you are.  also this weekend one of my ebay auctions ended with a bid, so that was nice too. 

recap: tod finally made it ou…

Forgot to post this here, as I have listed another Mixed Media Wall Piece.  Two Views.  This has always been a favorite of mine...it is a rustic, simple piece that always makes me think of Vermont.  The wood is salvaged from various barns that I visited during weekend hunts for found objects.  You can't beat having a barn sale!    The photo was from such a place, a barn sale with lots of equestrian paraphernalia.  I love that the windows had this thick white plastic sheeting over them for insulation against the weather.  It was a perfect photo in my mind.  Anyhow....it's on ebay now. 

Tod finally left.  hahaha FINALLY.  I say that because he was on standby and it only took 4 days to actually get the green light and even then it almost didn't happen because i just could not force myself to drive on that horrid freeway with no sleep and panic grabbing me.  he made it.  farewell....he is now a seattlite and i guess i am a texan although i've yet to feel like one.  i know …

Yesterday I listed 'The Sage' on ebay.  This listing will end on April 19th.  Still getting used to ebay and unsure of whats best, 5 day, 7 day...30 day?  Any thoughts?  I guess if I'm going to be here another month for sure it can't hurt to have a longer listing.  Will have to keep plugging away and see. 

I finally got all my art and art materials out of storage.  You'd never know that tod will be gone tomorrow because of all MY boxes everywhere.  Tod is only taking two bags with him and I will send him his boxes when he gets settled.  Remember that one Peanuts character that has all the whirl of dusty dirt following him in a cloud?  Thats what I feel like.  If you were to see me you'd probably not see ME as much as this cloud of jumbled energy.  What next?  Maybe when Tod is gone I will focus a little more.

I'd like to make some flowers for that Orange Show outdoor sculpture Park in Houston.  Haven't done a thing and they wanted most of it by the end…

Pipe in Repose is the first piece to be listed on the auction block.  This piece weighs about 13lbs and is all about the industrial.  The coils surrounding the laminated photograph were found at an old/still functioning dairy farm in Stowe, Vermont; the photo itself was taken next to the house that tod and i care took for in Vermont (a stones throw from the Von Trapp Lodge).  It was an abandoned house on the property, in back of the house was this old beautiful pipe looking perfectly relaxed on a crisp fall day.  Everything is securely mounted onto a found piece of steel.  This is rustic and always gets attention when shown.  Click here to go to the ebay listing which ends 5 days from today.

i haven't been doing too much lately.  well not art related.  i have been blessed (she says with rancor) with lots of cleaning jobs the last few weeks and since i have allowed myself to fall into fear and poverty mode i've abandoned art to make some immediate cash.

this has been a rough time.  and i feel it will probably get rougher.  tod is gonna leave sometime this week (its a standby flight so it changes but it will be this week i'm sure) and then i really get to deal with my fear and panic and life all by myself once again.

right now i'm trying to deal with all my STUFF.  i have to laugh i guess. little in the way of personal stuff to get rid of, just art supplies, tools and art.  probably harder than unloading a living room sectional and bedroom set ya think?  i'm trying to decide what to keep in some unknowable anticipation of where i'm moving and when.  i did get a break on rent for summer but its will gonna be more than i've been making so i've …

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today at 5 pm i will take all the numbers (substituted for your name) and swirl them around and while blindfolded, choose the winner of my art giveaway!  i will announce the winner on my blog and facebook fan page.  (if you want to have a chance at this you must have donated via paypal by 4:30 pm central time)

i will then choose from the remaining numbers another winner, they will be given the opportunity to choose from a vase or a candle holder (will be shown on the blog).  everyone else will be emailed a link to large file images that they can download of the actual photo's of their choosing (the wonder horse or wall dancers). 

thank you so much to those of you who have participated in this giveaway.  i am really excited to see who wins, you have all been very generous and supportive.  bless you all.  paula

*the winning number will be announced here just after 5pm and i will of course email you all with instructions/link how to get your 8x10" digital image online.