11/4/10

now what. how about nothing!

have you felt like i'm ignoring my blog? well i have. aside from the usual suspects of other online social outlets, i was spending most of my online time working with and for the etsy team i had joined last spring.  sometimes i think something just must be in the air because this week has been the week i quit.  i quit my cleaning job.  i quit the team.  i think i quit something else but i dont remember. (oh, yeah i quit my kickstarter thing.)  it has taken me DAYS to go through my computer and get rid of everything that i was subscribing to and working on for the etsy team . 

i think i miss having all that stuff that i did for the team (voluntarily with great joy most times) but i can see how i was giving a lot of time away that perhaps will now be used for whatever it is that is next.  as with all things, rarely is it just one thing that makes you quit, rather a culmination of things form and then one day you realize it is just one too many and you are done. several of us felt that way and now we are free.

i suppose i could be seen as a quitter.  or an opportunist.  i dont see that as negative.  you go where you are led to.  you do what you are interested in and when things aren't working anymore you see if you or it can adapt or adjust and if not you move on.  oddly enough, most times i move on.  i've stopped trying to hold on to things.  to people.  to art.  it's all like an exotic butterfly, this stuff, these experiences.  let things flutter into your circle and enjoy it.  but let things move on too.  let yourself move on.  thats how i see it.  sometimes you can revisit things and sometimes you cannot.  i keep searching and i keep finding.  i 'm a little worn out right now to tell the truth.  i feel like i've just jumped off of some crazy carnival ride and i just want to stop moving.  stop doing.  get my balance and move on.

thats life here in my little world

11 comments:

Kendra Zvonik said...

i hear you and feel the same way.

andrea said...

Knowing when to quit is as important as knowing when not to quit. You done good.

donauluft said...

For you it was probably a good decision to quit,
but I was really sad about ...and for a little moment I meant to do likewise.
But now I´m ok with the changes, and think, the direction is right.
I´m looking forward to see you coming up with interesting things....and..like Ingermaike said:
the team is a beautiful thing...but hey, it´s not a matter of life and death...and maybe you someday decide to jump in again??

San said...

Paring down to make room for what's important--a good move, Paula.

paula said...

i know ya do kendra...i know
and andrea, that was succinct and you got it right on!
viktoria...yep for those who stayed the new changes i hope keep things together :)
san...showing up so soon? now i must check your blog! :0

donauluft said...

yes I hope it too, but it will be not the same without you

paula said...

thank you my friend

Jessica Torrant said...

I feel free now that I'm out, don't you? Free to make art, to share art, to dream about art and all the other things in my life that don't involve a paint brush or a computer. I like what you've said about allowing things to flow in and out of your world without holding on and clinging to them.

paula said...

yes jessica. free to speak and do :)
i will admit to feeling a little lost though. sad and not for any reason my brain can come up with other than perhaps i am not involved in anything right now. never realized how much i liked being a part of something before. guess i better hold my hand out and see what lands there ;)

Kim Hambric said...

I like the way San sees it. Paring down.

Find balance.

Don't you think you'll miss the cleaning job, though?

paula said...

kim
i love your sarcasm.
'miss the cleaning job'.
yeah like i miss having the flu.
miss the money, now that is the question.