in between doing and knowing and wanting is where i'm at right now. i have my puzzle projects to begin if i want but i keep putting the brake on them because i'm waiting for my little sign. i need signs sometimes. i haven't sold a puzzle piece in awhile and while people seem to love them when they see them in person, loving and buying are two different things. they are a lot of work and aren't something you just wrap willy nilly and throw into a corner.
i do find it interesting the speed bumps along the way of art making. sometimes you blast through it all, jolt the hell out of yourself but you go ahead at full speed. true you can cover a lot of ground going along like that but you can also tear yourself up. sometimes its worth it, sometimes it aint. sometimes, like now for instance, i come to a complete stop at each bump and slowly roll over it. not a good way to travel. gotta decide if you are going for it or not at some point.
it sounds so awful to say it, but most of my not wanting to go ahead with it has to do with the accumulation of it all. the packing and storing. i've said it before; it's nothing new. i don't like it when i question it. a thread of some perceived responsibility is what dangles in my peripheral and i question myself. i look ahead and think what the hell am i going to do with all this stuff. is it good to think about this if all it does it paralyze me? i dont think so. maybe i should step on the gas pedal like there is no tomorrow.