show and tell

 so yesterday jared and i painted the wall.  we got a nice blue/gray paint at wall mart for a ridiculous price (jared had the foresight to know we could buy paint that had been returned, who knew?)  for those of you with foggy memories, here is the before shots of the space we are going to use for our one night gallery show.  we came up with a name for the flyers: 12th street back door gallery.

its probably the first time i've really felt excited about doing this show to be honest.  i think i am so scattered and lost right now ....nothing makes sense or feels right in my world and focusing hasn't been a strong point.  it was good to claim the space with some paint and talk about other cosmetic changes we can make in the space.  for as little as freecycle.org gets used here in huntsville, i'm happy to say i've requested wood stain for the interior deck area (see before photos) and someone replied so we might be snazzing up that as well.

the lesson is doing.  and not being attached.  since this isn't our space, since my landlord is graciously letting us use his property temporarily, i haven't wanted to get too attached to 'it'.  i will admit spending time there yesterday got me realizing how i must find an art community.  MUST.  i get it i'm not going to be building houses, my draw to do that at least for now has subsided; instead, art calls to me and i am loving my wood assemblages ... more are in the queue as i speak.  i feel certain these are leading to an opening in my work and i have to continuously be gentle with myself and them lest i stop the flow by comparing and looking too far ahead.  i have to work with the space and materials that are available to me now and forget about what isn't.  i feel i am working at about 20% of my capacity right now space wise/support wise.  its a new low for me and i am constantly needing to halt my thoughts/fears.  i think i forget.  i forget that i never have and never will be like most people.  i'm not family orientated, not going for job security, retirement or other typical american dream dreams.  tod recently told me that 'art will save your life. you just have to keep making it'
out of context that probably sounds ridiculous to most people.  but he knows me.  it struck a chord immediately and reminded me of the day i left it all behind, hit the road and went in search of the artist within that could only be found out there


donauluft said...

IT touches me to read about the conflicting nature of having an artists live. You don´t have too much choice, you decided long ago, I guess.
Your wood assemblages are really exceptional!

Colleen Kole said...

I love this photo collage. This speaks volumes for how much you love what you do! I like seeing them together like this.

I also love your honesty.

paula said...

thank you viktoria, i love that you took the time to read this, not something i expected from many etsy people :)
and i really appreciate hearing feedback on the wood things...colleen you too ~ grateful for your email yesterday ;)

Angela Recada said...

When you see all your assesmblages assembled (:0>) together like this, it is very impressive to see what you've done with those cast-off pieces of wood.

I really look forward to seeing what your art show space will look like when you've finished rehabbing it. It looks like it has lots of potential.

You are one of the most honest people out there when it comes to writing about your doubts and fears. I wish I had the courage to be so honest.

Glad you liked my link to your gallery blog.

Ellen said...

Tod is wise. It is about the doing, the anxiety is such an ugly beast but it has no tangible form. Sucks that internal anxiety can eat away so much happiness. Just keep on going and making.

I love the photo montage, mount them together for a big piece, that artist you posted a link to, that had me over the top excited, (though I can't remember his name now) has made me think we all must creat a wall from materials reclaimed and discarded. Powerful stuff.

deb said...

paula, you know you are one of my heroes, while I am afraid here in suburbia, you are out there doing it!! I really like your blue/grey and I am glad to see a little excitement creeping in around the edges. Oh to be as brave as you and live the dream and not be afraid of the cost... Tod is so right, and like so many I feel your feet are on the, so enjoy the journey a little, blessings

layers said...

the space, the work, the people, the opening-- will all eventually come together-- you are on an ongoing journey

Cynthia said...

Bravo Paula -- the wood assemblages are so appealing! I'm glad you are getting revved to some extent for the Huntsville show! You're on the right path...just keep moving forward!

ArtPropelled said...

I love this post. You've hit on so much that I relate to and Tod's words of wisdom really touched me (I've put them in my quote book). That feeling of only using 20% of your capacity is familiar. You are sooooo onto something. Develop tunnel vision and only focus on your work for the time being. I am reminding myself daily ....forget about the housework and the visitors that might come .... focus only on the art .....only on what is important. Nothing else matters in this moment.

I love the two colours together on the wall.

paula said...

angela, thank you for cheering me on, glad you appreciate my (what is to me.usually ugly) honesty...and the ag team thing. that was wonderful.
elle,thats what my hefty tag cloud is for...mmm leonard drew yeah? i love that you like this stuff.
deb, you are wonderful. WONDERFUL.

paula said...

donna, appreciate your gentle rooting!
cynthia...you better come thats all i got to say. and drag anyone else you think might even remotely care!
robyn...you and your little quote book. i love it. i am trying as hard as i can to have tunnel vision even though the tunnel feels like its going to collapse on me! thanks for being there.