yesterday a woman was seen jumping off of the golden gate bridge. she had tied many coffee mugs around her waist, perplexing authorities about who she was and why more than 50 coffee mugs were attached to her. according to eyewitnesses, she had last been seen living under a bridge in a tent.

eyewitnesses say the coffee mugs made an incredible clanging noise as they hit each other and the victims own head. many of the mugs shattered but a few were still intact upon the victims dissension into the water. it is reported that a nearby fishing boat was seen paddling towards the body and actually stealing some of the mugs. the coast guard shooed them away upon arriving at the scene.

authorities were able to locate the victims next of kin after posting a few of the mugs on the national news, apparently there was a trail of mugs left all throughout the northeast as well as canada and alaska. people recognized them and phoned in with information regarding a woman known to have been camping in those areas, pawning her mugs off to other campers for food/gasoline and other necessities.

It only took a few hours for police to locate her family.

I wrote this when I was doing my temporary stint in MN for a winter while 'on the road'. I laugh now, but I was traumatized when I had to throw out so many of the coffee mugs I had painted over the winter months, I had painted exactly 100 of them and only took 2 small boxes with me. Couldn't fit them all into my car and didn't know enough people to sell them too. At that point I hadn't really become an 'artist' and none of my old friends were interested in them.

I think about that occasionally, especially now that i've recently thrown more art out that I just can't see taking with me. I suppose if I were feeling frisky and alive i would write another equally amusing epitaph about throwing out my rr plate art. they would certainly weigh one down alot faster than tile. My photography pieces, drawings and other art would probably float though so I would have to get much more creative in how I would kill myself with those pieces. Not something I have time to think about I guess. Or desire.

I'm in a very pasty mood. I should be excited shouldnt I? Or scared shitless? or SOMETHING. still feeling nothing (okay i feel sick in the middle of the night). mostly i am a dullard. i guess this has dragged on for so damn long, what, 8 weeks almost? how could i feel zesty when i read all you other artists are doing! i hope i have a life to share soon. my only interactions have been with cardboard boxes and dust.


Chris said...

Oh God, I thought that was real! I wish I could hold some of your art for you, but how would I get it? And, I have a lot of my own old art. Want any? HA. I should have a give-away on my blog.

self taught artist said...

you got me thinking, someone should open a huge warehouse/museum for all the art that artists have to throw out because of moving/financial ruin etc.
i would have had a give away but can't afford anymore shipping :(

andrea pratt said...

When you make a lot of art, whether you move a lot or just need to store it, eventually you have to decide what to keep and waht to toss. I just threw out two paintings. I hate them so much I can't imagine them representing me in any way. But I was so thrilled to discover a way to 're-purpose' another. I took photos, too, and will post soon.

Big change can create a lot of conflicting emotions but 'deadness' is always a surprising one. I know that one.

jeanamarie said...

that is quite an epitaph!

ephemeral rr art? i dunno.

anyway, i really, really wanted to save some of your art but have nothing to pay you with! such is the life of those who create stuff i guess.

self taught artist said...

no? ephemeral rr art? hmmmm
honestly jeanamarie, there were many moments i wanted to throw everything out and start over but in the end i just threw out what bored me. i appreciate your message :)