progress report by paula

Moving isn't that interesting to talk about, rather the process of it. I will say, I am getting into being lighter. Things you are certain you must have suddenly become obsolete when you keep looking at the marked out space you want to permit yourself. We thought we'd rent a 25ft truck. Then we hoped I could get slimmed down enough for a 22 if they made that size. Now my goal is a 16ft truck, but now we are not sure which is more cost effective a diesel larger truck or gas smaller. I've never had 12 hour days go by so fast (okay when I had to clear out my 3 bdrm rental home in arizona and when I decided to hit the road and find myself I did this too but it's different this time cause its ALL art shit)

Why the rush when we are giving ourselves until mid oct to leave? Timing my friend. We lucked out and house people didn't come last week which means the gardener wasn't here which means I had FREEDOM and was/am able to make noise, run up and down our basement stairs and fill up the garage until it's bursting. Every free moment I have is all about getting it all done so then I can concentrate on selling some art, locating possible places to live, getting personal affairs in order and taking some time to understand just a little more about Oregon. Tod and I aren't feeling a huge pull to know it all now, the element of surprise...of just being with it and letting ourselves be steered to whatever is going to be, feels better.

Tod started feeling under the weather yesterday so his stuff is still pretty much waiting to be dealt with. He has a huge float tank, a pinball machine and a VW vegi van to contend with. The van isn't safe enough or running strong enough for us to take it...hasn't been driven in well over a year and a half. Not easy things to dispose of but I know it will be a relief when he is free from this stuff.

Had a few more contacts from craigslist regarding a question I had about finding scrap wood in oregon. Have met two artists already who though they say they aren't full time artists (they sound serious though about making art), they have supplied me with some general facts, feelings and a sense that my work might do better there than here. I get happy when I think about the possibility of more of artists interaction.

It's funny, I'm the strong one right now. Confident. Looking so forward to just getting out of here you can't know and Tod is the one seeming a little 'shaken' at times. He knows we need to leave...he knows we are dying a slow death here. He hates it here too but it's a big deal for him even if its exciting. And I know when we get there HE will be the one feeling confident while I get the shakes. None of my panic stuff is here. Now. My vision isn't twitching as sometimes happens when I get really stressed. I'm not feeling dizzy and vulnerable and afraid. Yet tell me there is a taxi ride I HAVE to do which involves driving people more than 15 miles and I can already feel myself get lightheaded and afraid I'm going to loose my mind. I just hope when I get to Oregon I can be stable and not panic and not fold into myself and be a pussy. I think having friends will make a big difference. I think having more possibility of little tidbit jobs to do will keep me from feeling trapped like I would in full time job. And the plethora of art happenings as compared to here, surely I can get back to selling art more frequently as I was when Stowe was booming with people before everyone tightened their traveling belt.

So that's my boring update. I have made huge progress in the basement and hope by next week to focus more on fun aspects such as making a MOVE O METER for the blog and finding some creative ways to sell art. I sold three clocks and candle holders in the last week, it was just what I needed to feel like I'm going to be alright. Long as I can pay my half of this move and have a little left over to get me going I am going to have faith and not get caught up in fear.

And now I'm off to the dump!


Kim Hambric said...

Glad to hear so much progress has been made. Also glad to hear of your high confidence level. Sure, your confidence will fluctuate before, during and after your move. Everyone's fluctuates. However, your readers are seeing (reading) about a more confident, powerful and positive Paula overall.

We are all excited for you.

self taught artist said...

thanks and remind me of this if i need it. right now i'm so happy its nausiating!