Maybe my homeopath is slipping Thorazine into my remedies....maybe living atop a neutral ley line node site for four years is finally starting to balance me out....maybe, maybe it is something else, all I know is yesterday I heard myself tell Tod that maybe I wont make art for awhile and that is okay. And it felt okay.
I can look back and see that in my handful of art making years I do seem to go through a dry period in winter. In the fall I always think I will work away during the dark cold months when in reality I usually don't. So far I really haven't made art for awhile and it is okay. I have my one experimental project I'm working on at my leisure and that is it. I've been invited to submit my proposal for Sculptcycle 2009 and if I'm going to do that I've got a few more weeks to come up with something. I fight it because I've only had to 'come up with something' for a commissioned piece and in the end the piece was nothing like what I proposed as I never really know what I'm doing until I do it. I fight it because I'm in a weird place with art. To make something just to make something, that is the question. I think you guys know that more and more I'm attracted to more functional work, I always have to fight with my brain that wants to think and judge things and I'm overwhelmed by all of the stuff that is out there. I could try making a functional sculpture if I had space and tools and on and on. I guess I have to figure out if I have the drive or not. Maybe I have nothing to prove right now. Maybe I'm just taking a break and letting new mojo accumulate. Maybe one day in hind site I will see that I was just being steered into making whatever it is I will have made. It could be as simple as that. It probably is.
Maybe this year I will work more and get out of debt and save a little so I can move on and get a real studio or tod and I can finally get our own space and live a bit more freely. Maybe it is okay if I make fewer, stranger works that no gallery will show, maybe it is okay if I don't always have new work to submit. Sometimes I swim so fast and hard in my head that I'm worn out by the time I reenter reality. Maybe I will just float for a little while and give myself a frickin break.