Change is inevitable. It is, other than your own demise, the one thing you can be certain of. Everything changes even if you were to lock yourself up in a room and never leave, things would still change. I guess your relationship with change changes depending on where you are at or how you are perceiving your reality. If you think you are in control then you think you are the one changing things and believe you have control. If you feel overwhelmed and out of control change can feel threatening. You don't have control, only choice. Being in control isn't real anymore than being out of control.
Thinking you want things to change is different than experiencing the reality of it. How often do I really welcome any change? Not very often. Sometimes being adaptable feels tiring when the truth is that what is tiring is fighting change. It is the holding on that is tiring. Letting go, freeing that tightly gripped fist and letting your hand open up to embrace the next thing ~ how can that be difficult? It is, when the brain doesn't let your hand freely or willingly open. It's going to happen, change, the question is, are you going to flow with it and let yourself feel it and experience it or cling to your fear and beliefs and rules and watch it fly over you and leave you frazzled and rigid.
I'm thinking about art and life. Noticing changes that aren't immediately obvious as to what is changing, only knowing it isn't the same as it was. When nothing much is going on that is when I feel like nothing will EVER change [ironically when a fury of activity is taking place I dread change, I want to hold on and never let go]. Obviously if nothing much is going on, then change is already on its way or else I would be doing what I normally did. It's tempting to voice what it means. Where it is heading. Truth be told I have no idea. It's hard and maybe not even worth writing or thinking about, because it is just speculation. Just my brain wanting to fill up unknown space.
Feels BIG but then again, feels so small and seed like. I could get dramatic and say it feels terrifying to think I'm letting go of something I thought I wanted. Feels overwhelming to think of how to go further down a path that has HUGE boulders to climb and I have no known equipment or stamina to do it alone. I hope I catch the wave though, swimming in a different sea for awhile feels like a good thing to do.
how's that for a cryptic little post