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Showing posts from February, 2009

memoir bit part one

Last November I wrote a memoir, inspired by NANO (national novel writing month) to just sit down and write 50,000 words in one month without editing or worrying about anything other than just getting the words out, I completed my story about hitting the road and finding my way to my self. That journey as most of you know, led to me living in Vermont and making art. I've yet to edit it and do anything else with it, I did open it up the other day and read the last few pages to see how I ended it. Last month was much quieter for me and filled with bigger chunks of just being and doing with less urgency. I realized that prior to quitting my massage practice and leaving arizona, for as screwed up as I was, I felt like I had some power. Power because I had a decent income. Power because I was a veteran therapist who wasn't worried about where the next client would come from. Power because I had a 'story' about myself down pat and the groove had worn wide. I realized I…

The Boys of Baraka

Tod rented an amazing netflix dvd, we watched it last night. DVD excerpt:

In an experimental program to reduce the rate of juvenile delinquency, the city of Baltimore sent a group of 12 year olds deemed "at risk" to a boarding school in Kenya, affording the boys the rare opportunity to turn their troubled lives around.....

I was so touched by this DVD, it becomes clear to me that the things that touch me the most usually have something to do with where I am at or have been in my life. No, I'm not a struggling black youth in a bad neighborhood, but after a few hours of talking with Tod there was a resonance with dreams being squashed. With something in your youth being killed. I seem to butt my head up against the wall of hopes and dreams and for as bizarre as it might seem to some, I was right there with those boys when I watched them. My heart went out to them and of course all I could think was how selfish it seems (to me) to make art when people need hope, help and…


Maybe my homeopath is slipping Thorazine into my remedies....maybe living atop a neutral ley line node site for four years is finally starting to balance me out....maybe, maybe it is something else, all I know is yesterday I heard myself tell Tod that maybe I wont make art for awhile and that is okay. And it felt okay.

I can look back and see that in my handful of art making years I do seem to go through a dry period in winter. In the fall I always think I will work away during the dark cold months when in reality I usually don't. So far I really haven't made art for awhile and it is okay. I have my one experimental project I'm working on at my leisure and that is it. I've been invited to submit my proposal for Sculptcycle 2009 and if I'm going to do that I've got a few more weeks to come up with something. I fight it because I've only had to 'come up with something' for a commissioned piece and in the end the piece was nothing like what I prop…

not art, just life

I'm not one to post pictures of 'my day' but I am trying to shake something up in me so I thought as I said a post or two down, I would take my camera and take some pictures of my world when I do venture out. I realize I'm not really a good action photographer, not someone who is terribly motivated to take anything other than close up pictures of abstract designs on objects and buildings. Well never say never and sometimes when you have no art to post you have to make do with whatchoogot. I notice these things...the way I feel like an alien in the bank drive-thru as I'm forced to stare at a graveyard during my wait. Thinking what a waste of land, how obsessed people are with preserving everything. The toxic diesel mitt sign that I'm always attracted to when I see it and the completely hallucinogenic feel of being in the car wash while having the taxi cab washed.

I realize how uncomfortable I am taking pictures when most of the roads are two laned and clogg…

what makes me laugh

Tod makes me laugh. He goes about his day and most of the time is unaware of something as ridiculous as how his feet look. He has the flattest feet of anyone I have ever seen in my life. The other day he was walking around and I looked at his feet and lost it. His socks had morphed into platypus like noses. There isn't much more to say about this, I just laugh every time I look at these pictures. I have his permission to expose his feet on my blog, thought it was time I posted something funny for a change.

75% of your time

I was watching an art documentary last night. Bits and blips of curators or whatever else those important art people are called.....the only thing that I retained and paid attention to was this:

' if you are willing to spend 75% of your time marketing yourself and only 25% of your time making art you might make it.'

I'm not going to make it if that is true.

Right now I'm having this little struggle with wanting to just do my own stupid stuff. No photo pieces, no clocks. Just this strange 'thing' I'm working on for me and Tod to live with, even then we might not want it when it is done. I know it is strange, not pretty and maybe even a real mess. The constant battle is to allow myself to spend hours and hours a day doing this when the brain says make something that will sell. Make something that a gallery will show. Make something that counts. My heart says shut up. Leave me alone. This is how I want to spend my time here on earth, today, now. It'…

driving home from the blood run

On Sundays I do 'the blood run'. Sounds horrible doesn't it? Try as I may, substituting 'lab run' just hasn't stuck. It is THE BLOOD RUN. In the winter a small clinic is open for injured skiers and to the public in general and the taxi place is contracted to pick up 'lab samples' which are taken via a cooler to the hospital in Morrisville. I'm the person doing it. It takes me just over an hour and I make, after taxes something like $8.51. It is usually the only thing I do, no rides that day because the dispatcher and I don't understand each other and I'd rather not deal.

Today I decided to bring my camera to see if I could wake my dull self up. To see if I could find anything worthy of a photograph. I don't feel I did. I kind of did but it was harder than I thought it would be to stop and take pictures in the cab because even in rural Vermont idiots are out there driving on every road like bats out of hell. God forbid I stop an…

a gift, more stuff, excuses & dreams

I got a surprise present earlier this week from Tod, he knew I've been hemming and hawing about different tools, a dremel being one of them, and low and behold I got one from him! It was a complete surprise, and a very thoughtful and generous gift. Should make it easier to remove rust from objects which up until now I've had to do with a big clunky grinder that isn't handheld so I have to try to shove whatever object I can under the furiously spinning grinder wheel. According to the manual these dremel tools can do it all, if you get the right attachments you can engrave on stone, glass, tile or whatever else your brain and come up with. I doubt I will be needing too many attachments, mostly I just need to grind things or cut pieces of metal that are small and in the way.

For those of you wondering about the cow bowls, I went there today and was a little disappointed but also a little relieved that the bowls weren't 'pretty' like the three I have. These we…


Change is inevitable. It is, other than your own demise, the one thing you can be certain of. Everything changes even if you were to lock yourself up in a room and never leave, things would still change. I guess your relationship with change changes depending on where you are at or how you are perceiving your reality. If you think you are in control then you think you are the one changing things and believe you have control. If you feel overwhelmed and out of control change can feel threatening. You don't have control, only choice. Being in control isn't real anymore than being out of control.

Thinking you want things to change is different than experiencing the reality of it. How often do I really welcome any change? Not very often. Sometimes being adaptable feels tiring when the truth is that what is tiring is fighting change. It is the holding on that is tiring. Letting go, freeing that tightly gripped fist and letting your hand open up to embrace the next thing …

dairy delight

I was perusing craigslist and saw this:

Disassembling antique barn..
All interior components that ran dairy farm.
Silo made from Ceramic Blocks. Many different uses for the ceramic blocks.
2 sets Hay hooks.
Cow stantion.
Watering bowls.
Cow dividers.
Louden Hay Dryer app. 1940's
Block and Tackle Pulleys

I started SALIVATING. I checked the site out they linked to and saw it was an antique type store/house and worried they might be off the charts expensive. Not even sure they had what I want, but those clocks and hay shelves I made from the watering bowls and hay dryer equipment are to me, precious materials and I want MORE even if I have to buy them. I'm starting to get excited, so far the emails come back saying yes, they are those bowls that I want. Yes, the picture I emailed showing the hay things I have are indeed what he has. He has about FORTY of the cow bowls at a price I can live with, my one concern is they aren't rusty or crusty enough since the ones I…

tri-strip cryptic script #80/100

I haven't worked on a Limited Ed. RR Clock since last November? Hard to believe I have actually made 80 clocks on these railroad plates. Twenty left, I figure this year I will complete the series and that will be the end of a three+ year journey. For anyone who has ever done a large series before, you know that it is a journey in and of itself. Looking at all the clocks I have made in chunks of 10 or 20, shows me the progress I have made in my technical abilities as well as my willingness to push some boundaries of what I thought was possible. I feel already a sadness for it coming to an end and wonder what else if anything will be as much fun as these RR Clocks. I always have about 7 or 8 clocks up in our living space, only one or two actually ticking away with a battery in them. It is more about the art than the clock for me, perhaps the hands are symbolic of something bigger than an actual telling of the current time, I honestly cannot imagine these plates without the cl…

Applause for OVATION TV

CurlicueSculpture, Judith Scott, 2001

Heads up for an INCREDIBLE 2 WEEKS of programming on Ovation TV (channel 157 in my hood). Last night I watched 'What's Under Your Hat?", a documentary about Judith Scott who was born with down syndrome as well as deaf. She was a twin and during her childhood was taken away to be institutionalized. Her sister Joyce got her out later when they were adults and so begins a healing, amazing journey through creating art. This is one of the most spellbinding documentaries I have ever seen. Judy was a participant in California's Creative Growth Art Center so you also get to see other artists with mental and physical disabilities who make art that in the words of one 'normal' artist, puts you to shame!

I watched this twice. I was working on my own art and mostly listening so when they repeated it later that night and Tod was watching it I sat and watched. For the next two weeks they are having a massive "I heart my a…


I sold two pieces of art in January. One in a gallery and one throughETSY. yay!!!

This is the piece that sold in the gallery. Great feeling and no one was as happy as Tod was for me. How nice to have someone to share the sales with. I crept into the bedroom and said in a hushed tone bent sold! bent sold! It wasn't nice to wake him up but I was truly caught off guard by the email from the gallery saying it sold. I was busting at the seams with happy! He finally woke up and was thrilled for me. Great way to start the day.

I call this piece Bent for obvious reasons. It is one of the coolest scrap finds I have ever found. Every time I look at a picture of it I feel this fast swishy movement from below the photograph, as if the piece is somehow connected to the train that the photo is of. I found that piece of scrap at an old dump site close to home that was being cleared out for a housing development. This was back in 2005 and at the time I hadn't made many mixed media…