I wanted to just delete those two posts when I woke up today. But then I looked at the thoughtful, intelligent comments and realized as much as I embarrass myself and in my mind, 'look bad' or 'stupid' at least you guys took the time to explain some things gently, coherently and wisely. Thank you.
I get it that labels in the art world are probably meaningless and serve less purpose than I originally thought. I get it that I'm probably never going to do a festival again, either fine art or fine craft. Never say never, I do try to be open to change and possibility but as it stands I just don't have the means to deal with all that, let alone the emotional make-up.
I can't speak for anyone else, but I sometimes feel so overwhelmed by the game if you will, of trying to make a living, let alone a buck, in the art world that I start to unravel. It is exhausting to bounce from feeling insecure, feeling like no matter what you do you will NEVER get in that door to feeling excited and thrilled by your art and yet have no real outlet for it. You know that door right? The door that lets you 'in' where someone actually notices what you are doing and is interested or cares or helps or whatever it is you need to not starve. Or is it that other door, where you somehow wake up and get a clue and manage to do it all on your own. Or that door that is uncrowded and wide open just letting whoever come in and out do so and everything is groovy and no one is clawing and scratching. That is the ultimate door.
Enough about doors. I should just be grateful I've gotten into a few galleries here in Vermont. Grateful that I get encouragement from readers. I still feel like an ass for having a temporarily hideous shat of ego (that's what it was after all wasn't it?). I think I will let go of my tail and stop running around in circles, for now....