Looks like I will find out this Sunday about that frame shop job, I'm going in to hang out and find out whats what. In the meantime, I'm still doing pretty much nothing. Reading, napping. That is about it. I see this pattern of making a chunk of art, especially when it is gallery due, and after the opening and the buzz I tend to feel completely lost. I can't imagine ever making art again but I know that will pass. I might even try to do something and it always turns into some awful clump of BAD. It doesn't bother me like it used to. I know it is just how the cycle runs. And when this house is full I tend to surrender more and more, which = rest.
It would be easy to say I would do more if my car were up to snuff and gas felt manageable. But truth is, it is nice to not have to be busy all day. I still tend to slip into poverty mode though. In all aspects of my life. The thought poverty of I will never find more scrap that is cool. I will never find things that interest me to take pictures of. I will never have a band saw or whatever killer tool I deem necessary to further my art growth. It's like having a little child throwing fits over nothing, and sooner or later it quiets down.
I'm reading a book by a New England area author, she had always wanted to be a writer. It wasn't until she grew out of her alcoholic tendencies, left a bad marriage and lived alone in upstate New York on her own horse farm that she started writing. It wasn't until she hit her menopausal 50's that she got published and her dreams became reality. And the interesting thing to hear is that the book tour was pretty much a disaster and completely draining. She keeps saying in the book be careful what you wish for. She realized she would have never been ready for all of this any sooner than she got it. I think that is good to keep in view, in mind. I think I know what I want, I think I want to be a hard working gallery artist but I know were it to happen tomorrow I might be overwhelmed by the responsibility. To lament not selling more or being in higher demand is like being 12 and wanting to wear high heels. I got a taste of it with making pieces for the gallery while having another gallery giving me a push to get a piece done for someone who was interested in the photo but not the overall piece. I like it, it did push me, but it was a bit stressful. Good stress, better than having to drive people to the airport in a cab but the pressure was definitely ON. And this is just local places that aren't demanding or high profile. Imagining juggling out of state galleries and deadlines....I think I will get there but I have lots more work to do. So maybe I should get off my ass even though no one is pounding down the door. Maybe a week of sleeping is enough.