Sometimes when I watch a documentary on artists I later find myself brewing and stewing over what they said. Not that I actually retain it verbatim, but the general gist of art speak floats around like a cloud all puffed up and is unavoidably present in my mind. Today I had one thought enter my head about art, this after watching a doc last night on Ovation TV about Robert Rauschenberg who died this week, and that is: why I think I make art. Because nothing else makes much sense. Art makes about as much sense to do as anything else does. Most of the time I have no idea why I am doing it. It has been said over and over that art is an expression~ of what, really doesn't matter to me. Just as when you hear bad news you might laugh instead of cry or viceversa I believe it [art] is a reaction that we then later give meaning to. I know art can be created under the guise of making social and global statements but I personally find it hard to be moved by such art. Maybe that will change, lets hope I am not stagnant and stoic in all of my reactions. For now I find it increasingly difficult to believe in anything. To find meaning in anything. And I have a feeling that for me, this is a good thing. That tight ball of a fist that has held my brain and squeezed it with full force, trying to extract drops of purpose and meaning, has loosened its grip and I feel less distracted, less constrained.

When I make the rare conscious effort to listen to NPR while working on art I marvel at how insane everyone sounds. Man is strange. Everything has to be controlled and counted and weighed and watched. Hyperbole floats in doomnistic (made up a word i think) pools. It's too much for me. I get completely overwhelmed by how bizarre it all appears. I can't believe it, for my own sanity. I can't buy in to it. I really don't want to be a part of most of it. So I find I make art as perhaps a soothing way to cope with my presence and existence. The less I think the better. I wouldn't have said that ten or twenty years ago.


Daphne said...

That is as good a reason as any and you wrote about it so well.

Beautifully put.

Bob Johnson said...

Well put Paula, in my latter years don't really care why I do stuff, astronomy, it is enough that I do and it works for me even in -40c weather, always lived apart from the rest, just more comfortable with it now.

San said...

Those found wall sculptures are just perfect--great find! I'm jealous.

There's a book by Jamie Sams--The Thirteen Original Clan Mothers. It's not exactly riveting prose, but when I read it, I realized that I related to the clan mother who represents the spirit of creation. It's said about that clan mother that she "works with the truth."

Paula, you are right. "Art makes about as much sense to do as anything else does." And I love what you have to say about that "tight ball of a fist." That resonates with me. Art is so much more meaningful when it's play.

self taught artist said...

san, never heard of that book, hope the library will get it for me on reserve.
thanks for the entuise, i love those things, they are like pick up sticks.