god dont let me become bitter
When I see that other artists get to have their own new york exhibition with works such as these, it is truly challenging for me to remain calm. I switch the browser to my page, diligently stare at it and feel frustration to the point of wanting to give up. I go into comparison mode. Is his work better somehow? More thought out? More time consuming? Is it somehow more pleasant and less raw? Is it because he is already 'somebody' that he gets to do these puzzle things and show them in a chunk? It is sometimes dangerous and sometimes empowering to look at what is out there in the gallery world. It can give me hope but it can also deflate me. Mostly it sends me into a fury while imagining myself scurrying into the basement studio never to be seen or heard from again.