a decision away

I've been furiously working on my second puzzle head, he was already starting to look exactly like this one, uncanny really that I could form the same exact head twice. I had to spend a lot of time looking at head profiles online in order to push this next head into a different direction. I'm not sure I will get it finished before the show, in the meantime I have also given the first head a Mohawk and the option of a different stand. I knew it needed something. My downfall as an artist seems to be my unwillingness to go wild with something and ruin it. I spent weeks and weeks, hours and hours gluing this (not to mention expensive archival glue by the bucket full) and I feel it would destroy me if I totally ruined it. The few times I allow myself to go nuts with something I always ruin it and feel angry at what seemed like impatience. I find that there is a delicate balance between listening to what the piece is asking you for and what your mind is thinking it needs. The mind usually wants to act quickly and see results (which is where the wildness can come from and be a + or a -)

There is a part of me tempted to wildly paint a strip of a mouth with paint dripping slightly; in fact I have lots I'd like to do but this one is special and I'm not going to risk it. Ideally, were money and time no object...were I locked away working without caring how I'm going to survive I know I would give myself more permission to screw things up. I refuse to with this one. I wasn't even sure I could make another one honestly. This second head I am working on almost didn't come out, and I was thinking maybe this first one was a fluke.

My last job is to cement the pipe that the head is on into one of the bases. I've only worked with the anchor cement once as a test so I am of course nervous about permanently affixing this once and for all. I would welcome your opinions on which puzzle stand you think looks best. I thought last night the newer longer one was best but after looking at the pictures I'm wondering if the shorter one keeps it more primal instead of pretty. I'm still not even sure I will submit this for the show but at least it feels complete now.

By the way, the saw lesson was more of him turning them on and cutting one piece of wood. The table saw intimidates me even more now that I realize you have to hold the wood down as it passes by the spinning blade. The huge radial saw needs aligning and no one has a clue....the scroll saw is cheap and a little screwy but will do the job until I super cede it's abilities. Until I get tables and a place for them three of them will wait in the garage. The scroll saw gets to be in my basement and I will probably use it sooner than later.


Daphne said...

Hi Paul. I like the Mohawk.

Stylistically and proportionally the top stand is by far more appropriate to this sculpture.

Experimenting scares me too- what if I've ruined something after all of the time and expense?

I know of art professors who make their students take their "finished' pieces and push further. Partly, I'm sure to stop being scared and partly to show that presumably a piece can have many variations of finished.

I try to tell myself that but I hate wasting materials.

Daphne said...

Geez, typo. Paula...

self taught artist said...

i tend to think the top is best too, just over thinking about what if i make a better one and it could be in this one of a kind stand instead....think worry think