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Showing posts from June, 2007

new find

Last night me and my roommate went walking up towards Trapp Lodge. It was dusk. They are doing some construction and the ski trail was suddenly obliterated by huge stones and dirt. Something up ahead on the hill looked very strange, we couldn't figure out the the heck it was until we got right up to it. From a distance it looked pre-historic or bug like. Quite nasty but rather beautiful. So tonight we went back for a few pics, I hope to get there tomorrow for a few more shots before the Monday work crew bury it or do whatever they are going to do to it. Last night was also very cool, I spotted a moose! I have never seen one and we sat down and just watched it for about 10 minutes before he gracefully waltzed into the trees down to a reservoir.


I have the most peculiar energy that descends, more often than not it is right before my period. I have had this for as long as I can remember. It hits pretty hard about every three or four months: I have this need to clean and rid myself of anything that is just sitting around. Since I have left my 'home' in Arizona and been less beholden to material possession due to the nature of my living situations there has been less to get rid of or clean, so I found myself getting rid of other peoples shit. Yes, I have actually spent quality time, sometimes lasting up to a few weeks getting rid of other people's junk and organizing everything that isn't bolted down. I suppose if I lived in a bigger city I could make a living doing that but I don't really want to throw myself into constantly going through dirt and clutter. It's pretty exhausting and only feels good when I can do it as the urge hits.

That leaves my art. Last night I disassembled a piece. I was going to do …

Art Collectors

My roommate fwded me this link. If you want to read some fantastic quotes from art collectors click here. It did my soul good to read, especially after my post about making art and more STUFF. My heart knows that people really derive more goodness from art than I can even imagine but the head likes to bog me down.Now the question is, HOW THE HELL DO YOU GET THESE COLLECTORS TO FIND YOU?????? So far the art collectors who have purchased my work did so from the Gallery I am in; I wasn't there and haven't been introduced to them or asked to show more of my work.

Artists Co-op

So today I joined a nearby co-op, The Jacob Walker Art Gallery in Morristown, VT. It was a last minute thing as someone dropped out and another artist friend who just joined alerted me of the available slot. I took it even though all the other art in this small two story building is all paintings. I'm slapping my Metal Art on the walls. The art in the Gallery is priced no more than $500 so I thought they would bode well since they range from like $109-229. It cost me $60 to join and they take 10% of sales. I am encouraged to put in new works at the beginning of each month. Sounds easy enough and a little more relaxed than the usual gallery dealings.

And I, misanthrope that I am, am looking forward to working the four days out of the near four months the gallery is open for the season. I'll be alerted later on when I'm to be the guardian of the art. I'd much rather do that than what?....(me imagining you all chiming in) "driving a cab". I will gladly make small…

my biggest challenge

I spent most of the weekend watching as many home selling/home repair/home redecorating shows as I possibly could. I do not know why, but I needed the escape from my own art for a little while. I'd run into my studio and mess with something and dart out just as quickly, totally unsure of what I felt like starting or how to start it. I didn't enjoy watching these shows, but I felt compelled to see them. What I got from it was an overwhelming disgust for this incessant need to buy and rearrange and fix and add and fill up our time/space/lives with 'doing'. I am not a real estate professional but something seems so odd to me that on all of these 'fix and flip' shows they make the home owners buy new things and repaint everything a color that will not ruffle any one's senses. I'm sorry, but if I am so stupid that when I look for a home to buy I can't get past a color, then I should build my own home. It seems such a dreadful waste of resources and time.…

so whats next

I always feel a little lost after I finish a piece, not unique I am sure. Recently I've been drawn to these bands I keep finding. I've been collecting them for the last 2 years and now I have two large bucket fulls of them and this large snake pile on the floor. They are varied in color, size and age. I have brand new ones that are black, brown and then old rusty ones that are super thin and others that are 1.5" wide. I saw in an art magazine a piece by Ted Larsen called 'Nest' and drooled over it. I had never heard of him and when I saw his work I felt like I finally found an artist that works in mediums I totally 'get'. So, I'm in flux, wanting to begin another project and uncertain of what that will be. I hope to make enough work this summer to get my ass in NY again next year. I need to find an 'in'. I will flounder in Vermont and I live so close I really have no excuse not to try.

Then there is the Puzzle Dude that needs to be anchored. I&…

another day

Last night I took the commissioned piece to the people. It was a birthday present so I went out and got wrapping paper and wrapped it up. How fun is that to get for a birthday present???? The guy was completely unaware of this gift, and he is, I believe an avid art connoisseur. Their home has fantastic art from all over the world (and not in a decadent grotesque way)so it was thrilling for me to maybe have my art be a part of it all. I explained the piece and the whys and hows and then let him open it. Neither the wife who commissioned me to make this or the gallery owner had seen the piece (he was there too) and it was fun to observe their reactions.

We took it outside to hang it where she had in mind for it go to. They really liked it and thought the time capsule and Chinese characters were great. The 'stuffing' of the flashing with all of those bike all really worked and I loved how it looked on the house. I honestly had more confidence about it because of posti…

how to get happy

Quit a job that makes you squirm.

To some, I would look like a quitter. If that were true, I wouldn't have all the art made that I have. I realized this morning that the burden of going in to work supersedes the financial one at this time. I don't need much to live on and by god I'm just going to keep plowing through a bit longer. To the taxi co.'s credit, they said come on back in if I ever change my mind. I found that gracious and unbelievable ( exclaimed really? and they said yes). I just can't bring myself to abandon my art just yet. And for me, it would mean abandoning my art because I know myself well enough to know I cannot be distracted anymore than I already am in order to create.

When I mentioned to the gallery that I might need to get a job soon he told me I should try to get a job that didn't take too much out of me because I was reaching a good flow with my art and now is the time to push harder. I'm gonna push harder. I know that by saying no to…

a hesitant post

I hesitate to write because honestly I don't want to whine and complain. I have more judges in my own head than there are in the world. I tell myself I shouldn't feel the way I do. That I am just pathetic. Why? Because I can't seem to handle the things I used to. Believe me, I've cleaned my share of toilets. I've delivered pizzas. I've done my share of grunt work in life. I lucked out big time with being a massage therapist. If it didn't completely tear my body up I would be doing that part time to make ends meet.

Last night was my first taxi drive. Its Vermont. At night, its blacker than the bottom of the ocean because there aren't big highway lights or any street lights. I had to drive to the airport to pick someone up. I had to stand there holding a sign for the ride....and watch everyone look at me and glance through me or show a bemused 'oh isn't that quaint' look as my piece of paper with the local taxi service on it quivered under my h…


Thought I would share that I recently sold these three clocks (and its because of you fellow bloggers!!!!thank you!!!). It's exciting to have them moving a little bit more, I cannot wait to be able start work again on the other 58 plates that need to have backs welded before I create them. Maybe that's what I need to focus on, each taxi ride is money towards having that done. I could always buy some depends and just deal with my tiny bladder as I drive on 100 mi round trips. (thats gross and I'm just kidding)

life might change

Well I didn't kill or maim anyone on my test drive in the big van last night, passed my taxi test drive.

I have to say, this is the first time I have ever applied for a job and didn't give a hoot if i got it. While driving he said, 'so, you must be excited to get started eh?'. Silence. I was thinking. Excited? So I said, 'excited? ....about driving a cab?' 'Yes!' he said with hope. ....a non enthuised 'yeah. it will be good to make money and get out of the basement' is all I could think to say.

Excited. Excited to hear and make small talk about weather. Thats the first thing both dispatchers talked about when I was in the office waiting for the boss to show up. Thats the first thing he talked about when we got in the van. God help me I cannot stand banal discourse. I can't. I'm thinking about trying to stay alive emotionally, physically, and financially half the time and I don't care about the weather.

I can't stand hearing the phon…

nameless new piece

I still need to wipe off the chalk that I used to outline the characters and paint one last coat, but its done! The woman comes to town on Fri. so I will know then if I've pleased her. The biggest challenge was she wanted old rusty bike parts. I found most of the bikes at the dump but did have to order 242 bike spokes on ebay. They were old and perfect. The chains are from the bikes and the middle, what I call the 'time capsule' is filled with unique parts from very old bikes I found. I bent the metal flashing and stuffed it with almost 400 spokes.
The bottom Chinese characters are 'Peace' and the universal symbol for 'Good Luck'. The top characters are his astrological sign. (its a birthday present for her husband) I have to admit I wanted to quit several times and this has been a huge learning lesson for me on many levels. It is my first outdoor piece and I really really like it!

commission and taxi

I thought I finished my commissioned piece last night, but my perfectionistic side got the better of me and I am re doing the top part. Pics coming soon.

Tonight I go in for the taxi job drive interview.

god help us all.

Sunday Scribblings: #64 Eccentricity

#64 - Eccentricity

a) admit any eccentricities you may have, or wish you had, or any you might choose to cultivate;

I don't think I have any of course, but some would say otherwise.

b) write about eccentric people you know or have heard or read about;

ah, this one would be impossible, everyone I know is strange.

or, the most fun:

c) devise a bunch of eccentricities for yourself, for fun -- either for your old age, or now. Imagine you've inherited a mansion and a fortune, and now it's your job to become an eccentric. You know, like having a pet pot-bellied pig that goes with you everywhere, and always wearing jodhpurs and riding boots (I had a boss that did that, though he owned a restaurant and didn't ride horses; he looked like a male Yoko Ono in riding attire).

I would have an artists commune in the desert/mountains. It would be a wood and steel home with several rooms. Each room would be set up with its own stereo, high speed computer, and art supplies for a given medium. …

The Piece

Barring needing the bicycle chain welded to make it stiff and mountable, I am now 85% done with the commissioned piece. I've been looking at the photos I took of the possible ways this could go and it surprises me that I actually came up with what I did. I'm really feeling satisfied and even excited about it. I can't imagine my client not liking it, and that's saying a lot for me oh doubter that I am.

This is the 2nd piece I have ever been asked to make for someone. The first piece was a year ago last Christmas and it was a RR Plate to hang outside for a newly purchased home for my friend back in Arizona (see photo). It was a breeze in comparison, partly because she sent me the exterior paint that was used on the house and I was able to incorporate that into the piece; also it was only 6" x 10". Curiously, it too has Chinese Symbols on it.

The metal smith is out of town until next week and unless I can use someone else on short notice, or can figure out a nut …


I haven't been writing much because I'm trying to save you all from being exposed to the vileness that seems to have grown like a tumor inside of me. But hey, its summer and most of you are on vacation. Vacation. A word that right now induces rage. I hate it when I get jealous of people. I am jealous of everyone that gets to go to their summer homes. Take road trips. Fly to europe. Take time off from their little lives.

I haven't felt like a very nice person lately. I have been fighting with that commissioned piece, wrestling with metal flashing, drilling holes into my own psyche. The intensity of my rage grows as each hour passes because in one more hour I am going to go to the cab place for my 'test drive'. I don't want to do this. But what else is there. I feel like I will drive into a wall. My brain is totally obsessed with that damn piece I am making and its all I can think about. It takes me forty times longer to do something than someone who knows what th…

no time

Yesterday everyone left for a few weeks before they all come back to stay here for the summer. A reprieve. A mad dash on my part to do as much, make as much, be outdoors as much as I can before the house is once again inundated with noise and chaos.

I feel like I have been hit by a bus. I always push to get as much cleared & cleaned up as possible to get the energy back to where it was before so many humans were here. I also stopped by and visited with an artist yesterday. After two hours I was, as usual, completely drained. While it was a fantastic exchange, I found that standing there and looking eye to eye with someone for that long just zaps me. Then the anxiety of a stupid job sets in. I think that is why I did so well as a massage therapist for so long, I didn't have to look at people and most of the time they fell asleep and I didn't have to burn extra resources trying to stay present. I have always gotten completely drained when I talk to people. It's just too i…

blog cleanse

Last night I deleted about half of all of my posts. I was in one of my purge moods and could have easily deleted everything, even the blog. It wouldn't be the first time I've done that. There is something smothering about keeping too much around, be it words or physical possessions. Personally I find getting rid of things to be extremely cathartic. I suppose it could be seen as a waste of time.....the constant begetting and doing all to have it erased or tossed.

I had an epiphany too about using the internet to sell art, so I have lots of work to do to get that going. That will all get posted here soon as I get details sorted out. My biggest problem or challenge if you will when it comes to getting anything done is the knowledge base. I know a little about a lot. I know just enough of something to get a concept going but all those details that splay out like tentacles start to bog me down. All ya can do is keep going.

dizzy day

So I did go in to the cab joint and submit my lic. for scrutiny. Got jittery in there of course and was asked if I knew the area in general. No. Did I know where such and such inn/resort was...uh...somewhere up there (pointing to the mountain). God get me out of here.

Today was my meeting with a design gallery owner. Finally a person who 'gets it' about selling unique art and furniture all in one place. I need to go back there because I didn't have my brain completely secured today and didn't bring enough of the paraphernalia, clock batteries and some when I go back I'm going to hopefully take a picture of her place. I like it, its smallish and not intimidating; not cheap not stuffy. Eclectic, most importantly it changes often product wise and the energy there feels in abundance.

A dynamic woman that I felt safe with. She loved my clocks and took seven RR Clocks, a Bauble Clock and a mixed media photography piece. Extremely generous in my mind since it …

do you wake yourself up

This morning, as the sun woke me up (@$#!%@) around 5 am as usual (in AZ the sun seemed never to be out so frickin early) I lay in bed and observed the thoughts racing around. There was a very direct thought of, you're going to get a job soon and probably wont make art so much. Then another rather matter of fact thought announced that it doesn't matter really if you make art. There was no self pity to it. No drama. A simple innocuous thought with no feeling to it. Then the blogpost title thought: If the dream starts to turn into a nightmare do you wake yourself up?
My roommate recently got a job working for the local yocal taxi company. They drive ford aerostar vans and do alot of Burlington airport runs and take people to and fro resorts/motels and drive quite a few locals to jobs/school and errand running. He started just one day a week and then got 'on call' which can turn into five days a week. I thought I would lose my mind if I did that....only because the airpor…

the bane of my existence

I am not materialistic. I used to be. Possessions were the only thing I could truly connect to and they really felt like a way to connect to a place, a person, and even to my self. (god that makes me sound feral)

Over the course of my life I have acquired complete kitchen sets, bedroom furniture, living room furniture and so on. I lived alone and always bought exactly what I wanted to please myself. At the height of my success as a self employed massage therapist I was raking in the dough and since I didn't think I would live past 40 I bought whatever I wanted. It wasn't until I started having lots of pain and couldn't work as much as I used to, and sometimes not at all, I realized I needed some money for the downpours in life. It was then too, in my mid thirties that I started changing. I realized how superficial I was. I think I started to connect the dots differently and got it that I didn't need to fill up my house with stuff and could do quite well with little or n…

the commissioned piece

The commissioned piece has become my nemesis. When originally I was asked if I would make something for this persons' husband, I was excited, but then as usual everything got out of hand. It started off on an uneven ground because she wanted it to be an outdoor piece. She was attracted to my rusty stuff, in particular this piece is the one that grabbed her attention. But since it will be an outdoor piece I cannot use photography.

To up the ante, I was told that he loved bicycles and she wanted me to use rusty things AND bicycle stuff. So off I went to the dump, found 2 bikes that were headed for the scrap heap and lugged them home to take them apart. I realized I am not attracted to bike parts. The only piece that grabbed my attention were the spokes. I couldn't get the rear spokes off because I didn't have a special tool to remove the gear things on the wheel. It started to feel like a doomed project, going to the dump every day hoping for a bike to get for free to take …

Sunday Scribblings: Town and Country #62

Grew up in a smallish town. Good for a kid on some levels, but horrid on others. I felt sheltered from the world and grew up totally ignorant about life and culture. I've been backpedalling my whole life trying to catch up.

Moved to a huge city soon as I was old enough to get the heck out of dodge. Good for a young adult on some levels but horrid on others. I got exposed to more but never felt like I 'fit' in. I had a small city mind. I was naive. Is it the city or the parents? Or life experiences? Or all of the above?

I once again live in a small town. VERY small. No stoplights small. I feel safer here but its harder here on some level. You have to have a car to get anywhere and getting one thing done that could take no time at all in the big city can take twice as long if not all day. As an artist it feels great to make art in an atmosphere of beauty and quiet, but since its a small area trying to sell the art becomes a mathematical koan.

I think people on an unconscious le…