I also realize that fear is something that is caused by many things. I believe fear can be instilled in you when you are a child. That watching or hearing your parents who have fear based lives can impact you. Fear can be hormonal, genetic, circumstantial etc. or all of the above.
What does this have to do with art? Art so far has been a teacher. I have already done so many things that honestly I don't think I could do again, or would want to do again. I don't want to go live in my tent again and not know where I'm going or where I will live for a season. I don't want to go to New York City for an art show and stay in a little hotel room and have panic attacks all night. I'm not so sure I could stand as many 'all new' experiences like I have had in the last 24 months what with learning about how to technically put together work; how to get into shows; how to do a zillion things that one would never imagine you have to do when you become a serious artist. (or get serious about being an artist I should say). And yet, all that fear has spurred me on. For better or worse. The fear of living a life I feel I cannot tolerate should I have to work at anything other than my art. The fear of not living a life I believe I want. And yet if I were that afraid wouldn't I have figured it out by now? It does make one wonder if you really want it bad enough. Do I? I believe I do....
I have a handful of friends that try to come up with suggestions for how to sell art. I listen and it usually frustrates me but I know I need to be open. I really do not like to put myself in the category of 'I am an artist and artists just don't understand all that business stuff' even though I feel that way. I'm reading a book about Steve Jobs, the computer mogul dude and they talk about how hard it was if not impossible to find an artist for doing animations that also could have the brain for computers. I relate to that. I get through life by guessing most of the time.
Anyhow. None of this is to be victim stuff. I think fear is like a hideous creature that stands in the way of whatever it is you are going towards. If you have the balls or the brains to figure out how to destroy/befriend/zing around or over the foul beast...then you have a chance at getting what you want. Of course there are always going to be more grotesque deadly creatures around the next bend....gee, don't you all wish I would get back to making art and stop blathering on?