4/27/12

here today

chris removing the horrid paint and revealing beautiful wood floors

dan, a human marvel......

my front door entrance mosaic

had to use that tool to remove lots of carpet glue remnants before i can install tile

the center is gonna be bullet shells, the texas star thanks to dan mapping it out cuz it required knowing exact degrees and measuring.  if you know me you know i couldnt do this if my life depended on it.  dan admitted it isnt exactly easy :)

linda did amazing window mosaics

neko made a shelf with galvanized steel 'decor' 



today i finished prelaying the front porch tile mosaic save for the inside of the star.  the body of the texas star will be BULLET SHELLS of course to match the shower i did see posts below) and inbetween the star body parts will be long vertical tiles.  i hope to get those cut tomorrow as well as apply the thinset and lay the tile.  the bullet thing will take awhile, i figured it is gonna take about 600 bullets or more to fill that baby and i wimped out early in cutting them.  i'm a pussy i've told you...and to cut the bullet we are using a bandsaw. picture a tiny bullet...holding it and pushing it thru the blade.  each and everytime i am convinced my fingers will get sucked/pulled into the blade.  the bullets get really hot.  its not fun.  eric loves this whole pentagon thing, the meaning of things and wants to help so he is being a trooper and cutting a lot of them for me.  i will probably work sunday on that. i hope.  the sun hits the porch in the afternoon and sometimes its a bit hot humid gross and i dont have it in me.

i kinda made a decision today after talking with dan, that i want to just go for it if i can.  do the dan thing.  the phoenix commotion thing that tod and i originally came out here for....build my own damn house.  it would have to be small.  the studio would be the most important thing.  i dont feel the big YES but i dont feel the big NO.  mostly i feel tired and incapable.  but it feels like something i'm supposed to do. or try to do.  to assume to do and be open if the universe presents me with an otherwise.

it could start this summer.  i need financial help.  and i need lottsa other help.  all i know is right now this is the only thing that seems to be in my lap. that makes any kinda sense.  i'm bone tired now and i know if i do this i will be beat.  who knows.  act as if.  assume. and be ready to change course.

i'll share more when and if i have anything to share.  mostly i need a place to work on art.  i dont need or want some artsy fartsy house.  i'll go for a cool outdoor design, functional dwelling....low mortgage.  i am always seeking and observing.  if something else crops up i'm open.  hell i'm open to just about anything, anywhere.  long as i feel supported and useful. a pull....energy.

energy.  which seems to be something i lack.  and yet i go on.  sometimes at work i want to just leave.  barely having the energy emotionally to put my tools up.  its getting warm.  humid.  there is no ac. while working.  i gots my hot flashes and temperament.  its just life.  its all i know.  all i think there is.  i need to keep being open.  keep doing.  long as i'm here.  i can't quit.

7 comments:

Colleen Kole said...

you gotta know I am lovin the patterns you are creating!

go girl -a plan is good.

Daphne Enns said...

hey you. I am happy to hear about your decision to go for making a house. Let me know if you ever wanna brainstorm-I could call you. On the phone! I miss talking to people about mutual interests and especially miss problem solving. I'm at a low point right now, a distraction would be welcome. My mother raised me with the belief that were there's a will there's a way. Being stubborn (I won't say whether I mean you or myself) can push a person to do amazing things. Of course that's you already. I want you to have a place of your own and a studio that you can just wake up to every morning or in the middle of the night and just have at it.

paula said...

thank you colleen, a plan is good. its kinda like hope.
daphne...my cell phone is all i gots and i use a calling card. might be too expensive to call canada :(
but i have you in mind, i will write you and talk about this. thank you!!

ArtPropelled said...

Paula, I have a feeling this is the right way to go. The work you've done on the house is so impressive. You have the talent and the knack. Go for it!

paula said...

i appreciate that robyn but keep in mind building a house isnt the same as making a pretty shower...i dont plan on making my house (if i do it) all artsy. its not my style. so the challenge is to build a house. period! i would need the outside to have some flair if its a phoenix commotion house so i'd have to come up with something, but all of that is icing on the cake. its easy in comparison [in my mind] to hefting beams and knowing angles and plumbing/electrical installation! its very intimidating.

Nellie's Needles said...

Your revelation to have a Phoenix Commotion house built for you got a BIG happy, loud whelp from me. All that I've seen about these houses seems to reflect the personalities as well as meet the needs of the people they're built for. Paula, IF you really do GO for this, I cannot imagine that your house would be anything but what you want and need ... that your fellow artisan/builders would create a special environment with personal touches just for you.

paula said...

thanks nellie. still not sure if i can or will but i'm very very open to the possibility now. i just want my own space, NOT CONNECTED to another human beings sounds in the next room and a place to work outside of the elements!!!