let the journey begin

a few weeks ago ann came over.  she is an older woman whom i believe i met over a year ago at an art show.  i see her all over town, driving her red truck, her longish gray hair neatly pulled back...always looking refined and country at the same time.  what little i know about her is that she lives on a farm out of town, was a school teacher....and she loves doing things.  i know she is quite involved in things around town (politics? church?)  anyhow, once or so a week her truck is parked across the street all day and i invariably run into her at the library, or while i'm out there on my bike and we sometimes have quick little chats about this and that.  a few times she has stopped by or i catch her when she is cutting thru the parking lot.  she has dabbled in jewelry making and even gave me a few 'unfinished samples' as well as found objects.  we both have this penchant for finding crap on the street and trying to make something with it.

so, she came by last week telling me about a book she got at the library and i asked her to put it on hold for me when she returned it.  Jewelry by Artists is the book.  what a book!  dense in a good way with inspiring photos of studio jewelry by artists such as Alexander Calder and Margaret De Patta.  this book is giving me an introduction to 'art jewelry' that i can stomach as well as permission to go for it.  i dont have to know what i'm doing, i mean i never knew what i was doing when i made my clocks or my wall art....never knew what i was doing when i made studio furniture.  jewelry has felt more intimidating and i think it is because of the chain/link stuff.  silly i know, but i just hate traditional ways of doing things and my goal with jewelry is to bypass as much of that as possible. 

i've made and sold some jewelry already on etsy.  i have a few more pieces i'm working on and am interested in getting a little torch so i can bend some metal and make it do what i want.  at the moment i've decided to abandon the chain/necklace making part and focus on the pendant part.  i have ideas for ridiculous ways to hang things but i'm still in conservative mode and need to get the hang of the actual assembling and just let things happen as they will.  i have a feeling this could be my next main body of work.  that and flowers.  i also have table making yearnings again....i always want to keep doing a variety of things but i still feel i'm in a place of being conservative.  when money is tight and space/materials can't get out of hand one tends to keep it simple.  least i do.  anyhow, i'm feeling excitement that the journey of discovery brings when a new body of work is discovered.  slow going as usual but at least i'm going for it!

derail

holidays.  rain.  cold.  stopped making art when i couldnt get outside to work on anything.  stopped selling art (always happens during the holidays for some reason), stopped knowing what i'm doing.  mojo gone.  i've derailed.

it happens.  it never feels good and it always feels terminal.  always makes me shut down and question everything.

i continue to question what i'm doing.  i'm attempting to make some jewelry, its been slow going as i still need to find appropriate materials and still need to be somewhere i can work (cut metal) during inclimate weather.

sometimes the poverty thing gets to feeling like its just too hard to bear.  going a few weeks without selling anything usually sets off the alarms.  i've gone months without cleaning jobs so the pressure is on to get something going. 

in my dream world i get to keep making flowers ad nauseum and they fly out the door.  i've had to stop making them for now as they arent selling in winter so there is another box car hitting the one in front of it.   utensil and candle holders.  same thing.  my world has stopped.  if thats possible.  no emails. no contact.  i have nothing to say and apparently nothing to do except deal with the anger and frustration i feel about my life. 

i'm going to attempt to post the few pieces i made weeks ago on etsy, i've been so 'off' i havent even been able to take decent pictures.  sometimes you just know you need to not DO and wait it out.  i hope a can crawl out of the hole soon.  the sun has been out more, i have a few hours of warmth on my little loft porch but that doesnt mean i have my mojo back.  i'm kinda obsessed about how much longer i can keep living/working like this and WHERE am i supposed to go next?  and how and when and and and

an unexpected hit

cut off lug nut head. gotta love that right?

 the bevy

cut bolt and nut/washers

lug nut, bolt head and odd 'cap' thing

i have to thank my sister for this one....she has been 'bugging me' for a month or more to make little lids so she could then store things in there without everything getting all dusty.  i balked.  then i made these 'boxy candle holders' and she once again mewed for lids.  i gave in.  why not.  my first attempt she didnt care for, she liked the handle idea but didnt like how i had the lid overlap over the sides.  she wanted it flush with the top.  so flush it was and i have to admit they are really cool!  i put wood on the inside so the lid stays on, and am using found nuts/bolts/washers for the lids.  i've gotten really good feedback on facebook about these, probably more so than i have anything in a long time!

i have long loved old hardware.  in fact i can recall when i was a child my dad worked in the basement and had all these baby jars filled with nuts and bolts and i used to be mesmerized by them.  to me they seemed valuable and jewel-like.  and now, here i am finally storing my own cache of 'gems' and they are truly valuable now because i have a new use for them!  i love cutting off the bolt heads and using them for things (jewelry hint hint if you didnt sign up and receive my last newsletter).  so now i have another fun use for them.  most nuts and bolts i find are deemed useless because they are broken or so old and rusty that no one can use them, so its invigorating to find a beautiful way to use them.

of the six i made above and the one 'adobe' vanity tray, i've got two left which i just listed on etsy this morning which you can see here:  1 and 2.  of course i'm off to make more lids for more things, check in on my facebook fan page thats where i always stay up to date!

thankful

i didnt even realize today was thanksgiving!  gotta love that.  glad i wont miss the dinner i've been invited to tonight.  i really was going to work on art all day/exercise tonight and do my usual usual.  i'm sure i would have figured it out eventually but thanks to the internet i know sooner than later that today is indeed thanksgiving.

so i'm thankful i have a place to go and eat some real thanksgiving food (you do know i dont have a clue how to make all that stuff right?)  i am thankful that another artist whom i've never even met had also invited me to dine with her and her family in austin, that kind of blew me away. i am thankful for my sister and the generosity and support that she gives to me as an artist. i am thankful for tod continuing to be in my life and make me laugh (and his mom who sends me little treats and always has kind words to say).  i am thankful for my new friend/neighbors cassy and justin. i am thankful that i've been allowed to keep living here and make art. i am thankful for the people who drop off junk on my doorstep and dumpster packing materials.  i am thankful to all of you who keep in touch, cheer me on, buy art, share, bitch, laugh, moan and learn with me and allow ME to get to know you.  i'm thankful for my online friends and i'm TOTALLY blown away by these people in particular due to a package i received yesterday:

nellie durand, kim hambric , karen christensen, cynthia wenslow,  lisa call, lynn croswell, colleen kole, and gail baar

you see dear blog readers, the above artists/friends/acquaintances made a quilt for me which they had unbeknownst to me, worked on over the summer.  this was instigated by nellie.  what an incredible gift, you can probably imagine how surprising it was to receive a package in the mail, open it up and find this!

it is INCREDIBLE!  it is alive and warm and my favorite of all a functional piece of art!  i am a big fan of reversible, so i love that both sides are BEAUTIFUL.

i know most of these women fairly well thru a handful of years of online blogging/emails and selling art to them.   i dont know if you can see it but are a few sections that even have my own art on it, photos from online that have been printed onto the fabric.  nellie sent me the info last night explaining her process of getting this quilt into being.  i have to admit i have a sort of revulsed feeling when it comes to my 'bedroom' and i feel embarrassed to show you photos of where i lay my head, but now at least i feel love and not revulsion.

most of you know but some may not know, that i left everything (my life) behind in 2004 to find myself and become an artist.  that means i got rid of all my possessions and have indeed become an artist but i havent really accrued many personal belongings.  up until this summer i didnt even have a real bed (air mattress), and incredibly someone got me a brand new twin mattress a few months ago which makes a HUGE difference in my ability to get a good nights sleep.  alas, my loft bedroom is so ugly to me...it looks like the inside of mobile home from the 50's and i dont have the time/money desire to do much with it.  the quilt, which i believe nellie really intended not so much as bed decor as much as wrap paula up and keep her feeling warm and loved, makes that ugly bedroom feel homey now.  it is a reminder that i am not alone.  it is a reminder of how AMAZING artists are.  that they took time to do this from their busy lives means so much to me you can't know!  this quilt is something i can keep studying and enjoying over and over again :)

having this 'art' from people who's work i have come to love and admire, means so much to me.  i have to say it isnt often i am truly surprised but this is one of those times i just can't believe it!  its a reminder that people connect quite well thank you very much even if they have never talked or met.  i'm not so sure i would be where i'm at right now if it werent for my online connections.  that a group of people who found each other one by one online can get together virtually and make something like this is powerful.  i thank you from the bottom of my ever growing heart.....ya'll have a WONDERFUL day. ♥

Reclaimed Napkin Ring Holders

I have been on a new object making spree, that being napkin ring holders.  Yet another very cool use for discarded coil and pipe if I do say so myself.  Below is an example of what is for sale on my website. 

I have one more batch of some yellow hay tines to finish and then it's time to visit the scrap yard and see what they have to offer to make more.  I made some napkin ring holders from my 'Aspen' pipe that a few of you have purchased, I'm happy to say those sold already.

The red napkin holders really intrigue me as I've always been attracted to 'springs' (coils, I usually call them) for a long time and have used them in some of my mixed media art in the past.  I guess making something truly functional out of them gives me the most pleasure.  They were kind of a bitch to cut up, believe me I went thru plenty of my dremel cut off wheels just to make them.  I still can't believe how contented I am sitting there for hours doing the most mundane repetitious work all to make a simple functional object from a piece of junk.

Other news...none.  Not really.  Most of you know my studio space is very crammed with stuff and I tend to work on one thing at a time due to available table/work space.  My jewelry keeps getting set aside but I am collecting more objects for pendants and feel confident the day will come for their debut.  Flower sales petered out now that colder weather has hit most places, I'm still amazed most of my buyers use them for outdoor decor and not indoor vase decor.  What do I know?????